F’*K the SHOULDS
This is how I am feeling this week. I want to take a big, fat sharpie and ‘X’ out all the freakin “shoulds” that I’m carrying around every day.
Do you know what I mean?
Which “shoulds” do you most often hear in your head?
Have you ever noticed that the quiet whispery “shoulds” are harder to ferret out than the aggressive, loud-mouthed ones?
Some “shoulds” I have been carrying for pretty much forever...
You should be nice
You should be pretty
You should be quiet
You should be careful not to show too much skin
You should work hard and sacrifice yourself
And then there are the more recent additions to my “shoulds” lineup.
I wrote a little blurb this week for a www.goalcast.com article on the impact of “chick flicks” on women’s love lives. The false narratives of Disney films and rom-coms is something I’ve been aware, and have been shedding the conditioning of, since my 16 year old mind got blown wide open by punk girl bands like Bikini Kill - (check it out - they’re still awesome!)
My blossoming commitment to a punk lifestyle and ethos caused me to turn away from many childhood film favorites with red-hot feminist horror at their messaging (I mean, look at Little Mermaid! She literally had her voice taken away!?!)
But only very recently have I discovered, to my horror, that the seemingly enlightened, feminist “wu wu” culture that I now spend a good amount of time in - has its own devious set of “shoulds” - especially in the area of love and relationships!
I should find my “twin flame”
I should be in partnership with a soul mate
I should always stay in “my feminine” and let men pursue me
I should always listen to my heart (or intuition or pussy)
I should be able to always speak with perfect Non-Judgement and compassion
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.
I’m tired of it.I’m fucking angry about it too - that I fell into another “shoulds” trap! I feel I have let my 18 year old punk Self down.
Just kidding.
But I’m committed to rooting them ALL out now. Burning those “shoulds” down to ash!
Who’s with me??
Let’s throw a virtual should burning party!
You bring your “shoulds” and I’ll bring the lighter fluid and the matches.
(and the s’mores ;-) )
Comment below with a list of the “shoulds” you are burning out of your psyche and I will send back a special “burn those “shoulds” down playlist - created just for you.
Also - I have a favor to ask you. I have been receiving WONDERFUL responses to these emails. I love, love, love hearing from you. Each one makes my day, seriously.
My ask to you is - if you enjoy my writing/thoughts/wisdom/weirdness please share it with friends that you believe would enjoy it too.You can send them here - https://www.chooseloverevolution.com/5-habits-to-embrace for a freebie worksheet I recently created - 5 Habits to Embrace to Infuse Greater Peace and Joy into All Your Relationships.
Thank you for being you.