Love is not one-size-fits-all

I met up with a dear dear friend yesterday. We got to talking about how she is handling a recent breakup of a long-term romantic relationship.


At one point she asked, What do you do if your partner doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved? Do you settle for the love that they offer or do you turn it down with the hope of finding someone else?

I have been seriously pondering this doozy ever since.

What I have come to is that this is another "Both/And" situation rather than an "Either/Or."  I believe that you need to hold fast to the desire to be loved the way that feels most supportive, compassionate and delicious to you. I also believe you can do your best to notice and appreciate all the myriad ways that people show you love.

The most important thing is how well you and your partner communicate around these topics.

Is your partner open to learning to show you love in the way that feels most supportive and nourishing to you?

How often do they actually do this? (Saying they are willing to try does not always mean that they will actually be willing and able to put in the time and energy needed to create a new habit.)

Are you open to trying to acknowledge, receive and appreciate love from your partner in the way that they naturally give it?

How often do you actually do this?

How many conversations have you had about this topic?

Do you feel hopeful, energized and connected after these conversations or exhausted, beaten down and misunderstood?

A lovely little tool that I share with many clients that helps give couples some language for these conversations is called the Love Language Quiz.  It can be found here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/.

Do you already know what your main love language is?

If you are currently in a romantic relationship, do you know what your partner’s language is?

Let me know!! I would love to hear all about it!

Also! I am sending you peaceful and joyful vibes for this holiday season. I hope you are feeling cozy, loved and grateful as often as possible as we close out this decade!

And last but not least - I have exciting news if you are in an intimate relationship now and desire deeper support.

I will be taking on new couples’ coaching clients in mid January 2020!

https://SchedulewithMargot.as.me/wisdom to learn more about how this works.  

Learn more about my upcoming packages for couples here:  

Love,

Margot